Top 5: Biggest Stinkers Of 2021
We've already shared our favorite films from last year with you, and we’ve even taken the time to hype up some unsung gems, so now it's time to share our picks for the worst. There was a lot of releases last year that didn’t connect with us, but there were five films in particular that we absolutely hated. Some of them were so bad, we couldn’t even find the words or strength to draft up a formal review, but now’s the time to spew our vitriol. Here’s our selections of the worst 2021 had to offer (out of the films we managed to see).
Writer/director John Lee Hancock attempts to go dark with his “throwback” thriller The Little Things, and it just doesn’t work — unless this is your first rodeo with films of this variety. Had it been released in the 90s, it may have been edgy and fresh, but every single one of its major twists, turns, and developments play like tired rehashes of all the other superior thrillers that came before it. Although the acting lifts this one up a bit, even Denzel couldn’t save this ship from sinking. Let’s be real, if Jared Leto being weird is the most interesting aspect of your film, then your movie has got a pretty big problem.
4: Old
How is M. Night Shyamalan still making movies?! Someone please take the keys away. Old feels like it written by a child. For real, this movie is pretty baffling. You have characters introducing themselves and their occupation, which is odd even if a dumb kid weren’t going around and asking people that. But it’s also really strange how the group’s immediate speculation winds up being 100% correct somehow. And if you thought to yourself, what’s the twist, since it seems to be in the title? Well, it’s there, and it’s just as dumb as you’d expect it to be.
Killer Chuck E. Cheese animatronics square off against Nic Cage in Willy’s Wonderland. In theory, you would think this film would be a stupid-fun blast, but in actuality, it’s an underdeveloped snooze that sleepwalks through nearly every aspect of its production. The film is nothing more than a shameless cash grab designed to exploit the fans of the Five Nights At Freddy’s game, who have been patiently waiting six years for it to be adapted to screen. Stretched to feature length, it’s such a tedious slog. It’s hard to believe this half-baked snoozefest scored a passing grade on Rotten Tomatoes, when we all deserved much much better.
2: Eternals
After The Rider and Nomadland, indie sensation Chloé Zhao joins the MCU to bring you the most boring big-budget blockbuster of 2021. Seriously, Zhao went from hot to not astoundingly fast, and it’s such a filthy shame. Everything about Eternals is stiff and lifeless. All of Zhao’s naturalistic charms are practically nonexistent. The cast, which includes some heavy hitters, all phone it in more or less; there’s no emotional charge. We didn’t really know what was going on in the story, and we weren’t compelled enough to bother. In short, it’s another reason to lament the reign of mainstream fast-food superhero cinema.
In a blatant attempt to cash in on the growing 90s nostalgia and foist the Looney Tunes on a new generation of children, Warner Bros. tries to breathe life into Space Jam’s lungs with A New Legacy. Despite LeBron James and Don Cheadle leading the charge, this thoroughly doughy and shamelessly messy soft reboot delivers a flagrant foul to all cinemagoers. If you smashed crappier versions of TRON: Legacy and Ready Player One together, and then screwed on a Space Jam faceplate, you’d be really close to pinning the tail on this donkey-headed reboot. In short, there’s no space and no jams in this suckfest, which is why it’s our pick for the biggest stinker of 2021.
What do you think? We want to know. Share your thoughts and feelings in the comments section below, and as always, remember to viddy well!