Contributor's Corner: Kill, Marry, Screw
During the dawn of Viddy Well, we asked each interested contributor to fill out the same questionnaire. The questions spanned from grave to goofy, but the replies were nearly always unexpected. This week we'll take a look at the following question:
Kill, marry, or screw: Harrison Ford, Kurt Russell, or Jeff Bridges.
Kill: Jeff Bridges — The Dude just doesn't do it for me.
Marry: Kurt Russell — He’s sexy as hell STILL. His relationship with Goldie Hawn makes me feel like we’d have fun and just make each other laugh. Their longevity is something to be admired. He seems like he’d be a great partner and mate.
Screw: Harrison Ford — because I own a hamster :)
Kill: Harrison Ford, I like him least in the bunch. No offense to him though.
Marry: Kurt Russell, from his filmography he seems to get out of a lot of hairy situations, and probably cooks a badass breakfast. He'd protect me from all the bad dudes.
Screw: Jeff Bridges, cause he really just seems like a lover.
WHY!?! Can I just have a glass of bourbon with all three? Okay, fine... Kill Harrison Ford only because he's the oldest (out of benevolence to the others), marry Kurt Russell because he's a Pisces and likes wine (like yours truly), and screw Jeff Bridges because he's a badass in Hell or High Water.
Kill: Kurt "The Vanilla Blood Spilla" Russell. I think he would put up the best fight. Because If i'm going to have to kill someone, I want it to be an heroic to-the-death battle on a rooftop surrounded by flames in the rain where we both end up shirtless and covered in blood.
Marry: Jeff "The Vanilla Chilla" Bridges. He's a hunk with a USDA-certified license to chill. I imagine my twilight years with JB like a whale song during a warm bath. He's one of the oldest in history to get the Oscar for best actor, which proves his devotion and desire for pleasing theater audiences [and i'm assuming the same goes for private audiences, if you catch my drift ;)] even as the years go by. and he's probably the only one on this list that smokes pot, which is super mellow. Not that I would ever do that or anything else that's illegal... I'm a law abiding citizen and I love my government. But I get the feeling that JB would love me more than anyone could ever love their government.
Sex Up: Harrison "The Vanilla Thrilla" Ford. I'm most familiar with the work of Harrison and this blockbuster action God is more than welcome to blockbust a nut on my stomach. HF perspires exotic adventure, but always seems to keep his composure, even when things get wild and a giant ball rolls closer and closer to his backside. But he's the type that will treat you like David Blaine after you show him a magical time.
Kill: Harrison Ford. He's a great actor, but my mom was and is still obsessed with him. The Oedipus angle is too ripe here to pass up.
Marry: Jeff Bridges. He's the safest, most consistent bet of all three. I would be happy to spend the rest of my days alongside The Dude, Bad Blake, and Rooster Cogburn.
Screw: Kurt Russell. I'd want to sample of his wild energy without investing enough of myself to get burned. Besides, the man behind MacReady and Snake Plisken is clearly the most virile of these boyz.
Kill: Harrison Ford. I know it's not his fault, but someone has to pay for Crystal Skull.
Marry: Jeff Bridges. We can blaze together, and as we get older he'll always make me laugh, even if I can't completely understand what he's saying. Plus, his wit is still sharp and I think we'd be able to go tit for tat quite nicely.
Screw: Kurt Russell. I mean, c'mon.
I'm completely indifferent...
What do you think? Who would you kill, marry, or screw? We want to know. Share your thoughts and feelings in the comments section below, and, as always, remember to viddy well!