Sony Makes A Lame Move
Article by Aaron Haughton
Today, Sony announced their asinine intention of releasing 24 of their films with a "clean" version. Eyes can roll here on multiple levels. For starters, why 24? You couldn't add one more shit film (that doesn't necessitate or warrant a "clean" version) to make it a neatly rounded 25? And, this is (of course) most obvious: why the fuck are you even doing this to begin with? Is there even a market for this in which there's tangible currency to be harvested?
Apparently, these "edited" version have existed for dweeby airline farers and network broadcasts, but Sony has felt so inclined to release these watered down versions on a more massive scale under the argument that they're "adapted for wider audiences." The oddity about this list of 24 films set to rollout is that only 2 films in the lot (Elysium and Step Brothers) are actually R-rated. The full list is as follows:
- 50 First Dates
- Battle Of The Year
- Big Daddy
- Captain Phillips
- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
- Easy A
- Ghostbusters II
- Grown Ups
- Grown Ups 2
- Spider-Man 2
- Spider-Man 3
- The Amazing Spider-Man
- The Amazing Spider Man 2
- Step Brothers
- Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
- White House Down
If the list contained exclusively hard R films, I could maybe justify Sony's move here, but come on...
Back in my day, we already had edited versions and a way of unwillingly receiving them, it was called network television. Just take a glimpse at how the features below were "enhanced" to appeal to a "wider audience":
And, again, all three examples above are hard R-rated titles, and despite the evisceration of the source material, there's still some hearty LOLs to be had with the absurdity of these edits. However, it already sucks to be a kid; you loose your teeth and grow new ones, you get braces because the new ones are all fucked up, you go through puberty and are awkward to the world, you can't drink or drive (let alone drink and drive, like us adult good samaritans), and if you were like me and grew up in the middle of the country: there wasn't fuck all to do, and no one in near proximity to pal around with either.
So to Sony, we here at Viddy Well, say:🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼 "FUUUUUuuuuuUUUUCCCCCKKKK you!" 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼
What do you think? Is this a crock of shit, or what? Tell us how you feel; share your thoughts and feelings in the comments section below, and, as always, remember to viddy well!